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How to convince your husband to have a baby? The decision to have a baby is a wonderful and exciting moment in every couple’s life. However, if you feel ready and your husband is not, problems may arise in a marriage that in other ways works very well. Before you begin to make your husband feel guilty or try to force him, try to convince him in a peaceful way that limits opportunities for conflict.
How to convince your husband to have a first baby?
The time has come: you feel ready to have your first baby, but your partner doesn’t seem to be on the same page. How to convince your boyfriend to have a baby? Many women, who arrive at a certain point in their lives, begin to wonder how to get pregnant if their husbands don’t want to and whether it is right to put pressure or leave them some space and wait.
Start by discussing the idea with your husband
How do I convince my significant other to have a baby? First of all, it is important, within a stable and happy couple, to speak openly about important issues, projects, and growth prospects. Even if he seems to be reluctant to answer questions or openly discuss the possibility of having a child, this does not mean that postponing the problem is a solution. Better to sit and chat openly and in all sincerity, trusting fears and desires and trying to understand if his refusal is only temporary, if after all he only needs some reassurance or if he has never wanted to become a father and will never want to become one.
Did you have any prior discussions?
Think about the chats you have previously had on the topic. One of the main aspects to reflect on, before discussing with your husband about your will to have children, is whether you have already discussed it and how did that go.
Is weekly discussion time about the baby a good idea?
You could decide to set aside a moment during the week to discuss this topic. This way, both of you will have time to think about what your partner said and regroup. You might write some notes when you think of new things to discuss during the week, and you’ll have time to feel less angry, sad, or frustrated because of the previous discussion. This will also help you maintain the discussion light and avoid obsessing over the topic.
Talk about fears
You definitely want to know what scares your husband and why: he might be right to be scared about some things, or he might be needing some insurance from you. Remember that it is fundamental that he feels listened to, and that his feelings deserve just as much attention as yours. If you think that, despite his fears, you should still have a kid, express these feelings to your husband.
Warm your husband to the idea of a new addition to the family
Mention a baby during activities your husband loves
Convincing someone to have a baby when they are don’t feel ready is no easy task. Bringing in imagination is a great way to get your husband warmed up to the idea of having children. Start by mentioning the future child while your husband is doing something he likes. Maybe you could mention how satisfying it would be to share these activities and his knowledge of them with his future child.
Tie a baby to future possibilities
Link the idea of having children with your future: mention the child’s first steps or first driving lessons. Ask him how he would feel about having someone call him dad, or giving his own name to his son or daughter. You’ll convince him to have a baby in no time!
Be a patient wife
Remember that having a child is a big step into anyone’s life, especially if you are dealing with someone who’s not really feeling it! Therefore try to be patient, and give him time to get warmed up to the idea. He might need some more time than you’d wish, but let him know that this will be something you’ll face together and with a great deal of patience.
How to convince your husband to have another baby?
Share your fantasies: for example, gently point out that a couple of acquaintances who had their second child are happy, or tell him that you cannot give a better gift to your child than a brother or sister.
You might be in the situation in which the first child comes from a different union: in this case, a second child could be thought of as a way to seal your union, the son of a new narrative, and a renewed confidence in the future.
When, on the other hand, the difficulty concerns the family organization or the economic condition, then it is important to concentrate on the affectivity: the most important things in life are not calculated. If we always looked at the disadvantages we would not go on, because what matters is not counted. The same goes for space: this too can be obtained where it was thought there was none.
Things you shouldn’t do
- Don’t lie about contraceptives: This would risk ruining your relationship and push your husband even more in the opposite direction. Lying about your contraceptive habits will only hurt mutual trust and strengthen his belief that you are not ready to have children just yet.
- Don’t obsess over having children: If this will be all you talk about, you’ll end up pushing your husband to want to avoid children at all costs. Instead, have a serious discussion about it and move on. He might need some time to sleep on it!
- Remember to enjoy your current family: You don’t want to create resentment in the relationship, or you might end up suffocating him. Instead, try to highlight the joy of having a happy family, whether it’s with children or not. This might just be what he needs to imagine a future with children!
Let’s face it: it is quite frequent that in the end, it is the woman who decides to give a push in the right direction in order to have a child. In many cases, the man ends up indulging in the desire of his partner, so that he won’t lose her.
This is not to say that he will be a bad father: if for women maternity starts from the pregnancy test, for men the nine months represent a sort of limbo, a strange period of transition towards a new condition that is not yet all clear until the baby is born.
It is not uncommon for a man who during pregnancy to be distant and confused, but at the sight of his baby, he will suddenly melt and become an excellent dad.
Go on top-mom.com to find out more about this!
- 1 How to convince your husband to have a first baby?
- 1.1 Start by discussing the idea with your husband
- 1.2 Warm your husband to the idea of a new addition to the family
- 2 How to convince your husband to have another baby?
- 3 Things you shouldn’t do
- 4 Final words